Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Garage Doors are Evil

Well ok so maybe not all garage doors are evil but the one that tried to devour my middle finger is evil. The scariest part was fearing that I would be stuck standing attached to the door for at least 2 hours until the home owner got back because I was too far away from the controls to open the door again. I finally figured out how to get loose but it was a very long night at work carrying around a cup of ice to keep my finger in whenever I didn't have to use my hand. And the pain, oh the pain! The good news is that I don't think I damaged the cutical so while I might loose my nail hopefully it will grow back ok. At the moment it is a lovely shade of purpke. Bless the girls at work that helped me when I just couldn't do a few things. Embarassing, scary and more than a bit shocking but it definetly could have been worse!

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Contentment

What is real contentment? Paul talks about being content where and with what you have but what does that mean? Does it just mean accepting that things as they come? Does it mean being happy with everything and hopeing nothing ever changes? Does it mean resigning yourself to whatever comes your way like a silly sheep? I have pondered these things over and over throughout the past years and only recently can I admit that I am really coming to understand it personally for me.
I have always thought I was generally content being single and generally content not having children, except of course for those times when I would have bad case of baby envy or a pity party after attending another wedding. Now as I look back I wasn't really content nor did I really understand it because I was living in the present but I was still sometimes looking around the corner thinking I might get what I want sometime soon.

In the past several months my outlook has really changed and I am no longer looking around the corner. I am really living for today, really looking for ways to be the best I can be just as I am. I have come to be very content, very happy with being single. I have been brought to see now how much of a blessing it is to be single, that it is not good or bad to be single, as one book put it, it's just different. In the past I had sometimes fallen into the trap of looking at things and thinking, "Oh I couldn't do that because I am not married." "I guess I am not married because I must still have things to learn." etc, etc. Now I realize more fully than ever that somepeople need to be married because they have things to learn that they couldn't learn on their own, marriage is not some reward for learning everything, and further more there are a whole ton of things that I wouldn't be able to do in service for others right now in my life were I married or even in a serious relationship. It's not bad, it's just different and you can be used in different ways! How liberating to really believe this realization has been for me!

This really came home to me recently when I had the opportunity to spend some time with a very dear friend and her new (3mo/o) baby daughter. I was a little nervous about seeing her because I thought, "Ok so I have come around about the whole single issue but how is it going to be when faced with a baby?" I really loved every minute our visit but I tried to look at the whole situation of motherhood with the same eyes as marriage and very pleasently I realized the same principles applied. I loved that baby, my friend is a wonderful mother and I am thrilled for her and her husband but I came away from the visit perfectly content that I do not have "one of those". Babies are wonerful, they teach us lots about ourselves, motherhood is a very sacred calling but is does take up all your time, it makes you unable to do certain things and unless the Lord calls you to it it has the potential of being much more of a curse than a blessing because of it's all consuming nature.

Just because I am content now does not mean that I do not hope to get married someday or that have I given up on my dream of adopting children someday. It simply means that I can thank the Lord for each day that I have as a single woman because it means that I am much freer to be used in certain ways for Him. Someday should I be married that will be a different experience and at that point I can be thankful for those opportunities then. I can't gareuntee that I won't ever feel a little twing at weddings, that my biological clock won't ever sound loud in my ears or that I won't somehow feel "behind" all my married friends but I can say that with God's help and patience I will be able to see beyond those human feelings and remain thankful and content with my station in His plan whatever it is at the moment.

I don't believe that contentment involves just accepting things as they come. It doesn't mean resigning yourself to circumstances nor does it mean getting happy in a nice little rut. Now I really believe that it means understanding and being willing to work with God no matter where you find yourself. Truelly seeing that He has your best interesting in mind and doing your best to fulfill His purpose for you right where you are until the next assignment in life comes along. So that is my challenge! Even if I don't always "feel" it I am striving to be content just as I am until the page on this chapter of my life is turned.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Joke of the Day

Alright sorry about these jokes...I am warning you they are real groaners, especially #2.

This one is courtesy of my mother:
Q: Why did they have to come up with the term PMS?
A: Because Mad Cow was already taken!

Or how about this one?
Years ago a very rich man paid to have himself cloned. All went well while his clone was young but the older he got he somehow developed a bad habit of swearing all the time. The more he swore the angrier his father got until one day the father go so angry at his awful mouth that he pushed him off a cliff during an argument. Since he was a clone the police were at a loss on how to arrest him and what to charge hime with. Until the sherif realized that while murder/suicide, etc. was out of the question he could arrest him for making an obsene clone fall.

Where do people come up with these things???

Blogging Style

Not sure how true this is considering I haven't ever changed my blogs layout and I have refrained from posting some things that I thought would be too shocking for most of my dear readers. Oh well it's nice to think that somehow I am avant guard and unique even if it's only in the mind of computer!

Your Blogging Type is Unique and Avant Garde

You're a bit ... unusual. And so is your blog.
You're impulsive, and you'll often post the first thing that pops in your head.
Completely uncensored, you blog tends to shock... even though that's not your intent.
You tend to change your blog often, experimenting with new designs and content.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Musings about people

What makes a person memorable? Why do some people crawl into your heart and never leave? What makes them stay there despite the passing of years? What is it about some people that makes the years slip away when you see them again?
I have been pondering these questions for a long time now but more seriously lately. Almost 8 years ago a good friend from my high school era left the area and sort of removed himself from everyone from this time in his life. I know he ment more to me than I meant to him but for some reason that didn't matter. He was like the brother I never had and when he left some part of me left with him. It was never a romantic friendship in any way but just a connection...oh why are these things so hard to nail down??? Anway over the years I stayed in touch with his family so kept up with sort of where he was in the country and once in a while a snippet of news about how he was would come my way. This person is one of the only people that I have ever dreamed of seeing again. I would dream that he came home, that I got to see him again, that we just got to chat like old times about "stuff", and sometimes I would wake up crying. I would think I saw him sometimes in town but it was only my imagaination. He went through a lot of trying times and it broke my heart that I wasn't able to let him know I never stopped praying for him, couldn't give him a hug and tell him I was there if he needed anything, or just visit him once in a while when he was down. I know I don't mean so much to him, he has his own life, has been through many things I haven't been part of and never will, but for someone reason he is in my heart to stay. I missed him so much. Why? I have no idea. I have other people that have left my life over the years and I think about them but never quite the same. I wonder what makes the difference. It really doesn't make sense but is life always supposed to make sense????
Other than maybe one phone call I haven't seen or spoken with him since he left, until yesterday that is. He came home to visit for a couple of weeks. I was very nervous that he wasn't really going to be there, I wouldn't believe that he was really here until I saw him in person. I was afraid he wouldn't stay at home for the family get together so I was excited to see him but didn't want to get my hopes up. I cried when I heard he was coming home and seeing him was one of the best gifts I have had in long time. Just hearing his voice and knowing that he is still alive, that he hadn't forgotten about his family and friends here completely, that he hadn't written us completely out of his life forever, somehow was reassuring. It was so wonderful to see him again. Some how the years just slipped away and it was easy to forget how many years had passed. If he ever vanishes from my life again I guess I will have to remember the good times, the chance we had to meet up again and I'll just go on praying and missing him until he pops up again.

I still wonder what makes people memorable? Is there anyone out there there I have left the same and is there anyone that would miss me if I disappeared?

Friday, June 09, 2006

Snakes

Saw the funniest sight yesterday while driving down Mt. Baker Hwy. Right past the gas station corner by Sunset Square I saw this guy on the side walk and it looked like he had some kind of brown spotted stole across his back but then I thought it looked like a python. I thought, "No way, that guy does not have a snake on him" but in fact as I slowed down to pass him he really was wearing a VERY big snake. Was probably about an 8-10 foot snalke from tip to tip because down around his waist the tail was curled and resting on his hand and arm and then up over his Right shoulder and sticking out aways in the front was it's head. I was watching it in my rear view mirror and the snake had it's head sticking out horizontal from the guys hand (he was suppoting it about a foot back against his shoulder)and it looked like it was really having a great time. It was bobbing it's head a little and just looking very pleased with this little adventure. Now I am not a snake sort of person but this really made me laugh and I would have loved to talk to the owner because it made me wonder about snakes. Do they really have personalityies? How do you tell if a snake it happy vs. mad or annoyed? Can snakes be affectionate? So many things I dont know....